That's what I'm here for.

Okay, fellow college students, let's talk about this.

The printer.

It's basically my only job. I sit here, look pleasant, and help you with the fucking printer. It's what I do. SO ASK ME FOR HELP.

I'm beyond sure that you've encountered something like this before. You've been somewhere, at some time, and you needed help.

You've known what to do then, right? You look for the person wearing the name tag. And in this case, I WEAR THE BLOODY NAME TAG.

Do not just stare at the printer. Do not attempt to fix the printer, because half the time that isn't the problem and you don't know how to fix it. I do. I've got the training, which is how I managed to land this sweet gig in the first place.

Believe me, I know how you feel. Lost, scared, and embarrassed to admit there might be something about technology you don't know. We've all been there. And I know you might be ashamed to ask for help. But know this: despite my pale skin, dark hair and black clothes, I will not bite you if you ask for help. I will help you. With a smile. 'Cause that's what I'm here for. Plus I'm a big fucking ray of sunshine.

As for the rest of you, you "I've seen it all before, I can fix any glitch on any machine" types. Go fuck yourselves. Seriously. And stop touching my machine. Douches.